Distractions abound

Every day our kids are faced with an onslaught of decisions. Some weigh heavier than others. Distracted driving is here and isn’t going anywhere anytime soon. At some point during the course of their teenage years every one of our kids will be confronted with this issue. Whether it be making the decision to turn the key in the ignition after having a few drinks, sitting in the passenger seat with a driver who is high, who is texting, or replying to a text every single day our kids are confronted with decisions that have the potential to go really wrong.

As a teenager it’s almost impossible to wrap your head around your own mortality and the idea that something bad could actually happen to you. But this is where we come in. Every one of our kids are precious gifts and since our high school's opening eleven years ago we have lost students and alumni for a myriad of reasons. Many could have been prevented.

Last week I stopped by Odd Fellow Cemetery in down town Medford. It's the town I grew up in.vIn the back section of the cemetery there is an alarming number of young people who have been laid to rest. Each of them has a story. I grew up with many of them. If I close my eyes their faces, smiles and memories flood my mind. Some are there because of illness or due to unforeseen circumstances. But many are young lives snuffed out too early due to their own decisions or the reckless decisions of others involving a vehicle. We all make mistakes in life, but there are certain choices that we make or are made by others where there is no rewind button and the implications are life altering.

The reality is that each of these head stones are a somebody's somebody. I remember the girl who sat in front of me in chemistry class my senior year who ended her own life. In a split second I'm transported to the two brothers who could make you smile in a heart beat both overdosing within two years of one another of heroin and a friend who sat next to me in english class who was another victim of heroin's vicious hold. I can't even count the faces, the names after all of these years. There are just too many. Some were victims of illness, the poor decisions of others and so many were snuffed out by addiction or reckless choices. It's mind boggling. Every headstone has a story. Each cross on the side of the road holds countless memories. 

Another temptation our kids and any driver faces is the pull of the mobile phone. Driving to work, home or running errands I'm baffled by how many heads are facing downward in the vehicles on the other side of the road way. It's insane. But for the sake of our kids and safety of others we must lead by example. Resist the temptation to glance at your phone and respond to that text while driving. One glance, one second could very easily be a life. The number of crashes attributed to cell phone use is huge and it will only increase if we don’t stop.

Just this evening my daughter and I were walking through a parking lot while visiting the University of Connecticut as we both were flabbergasted as the driver of a vehicle coming right at us had no idea we existed as her eyes were fixed on her phone the entire time. From a solid fifty feet before reaching us until she was out of view it was visible that she was texting. The prevalence is all too common with injuries and loss of life only increasing as time goes on. But it really can be so easily prevented. Put the cell down. It can be done. There is no text message that is that important. I can promise you that. 

Let's roll with another distraction. Common knowledge is that the drinking age is 21. There are students who make the decision to drink, but I am continually dumbfounded at the downplaying of buzzed driving. Having even one beer in their system, being underage, not only can get them a DUI but it also does alter the driver’s reaction time. I’ve had students openly share that the drive from point a to point b is only a few miles up the road. In their mind the worst thing they can do is hit a deer or run into a sod field. They are so terribly wrong.

It’s uncomfortable being in the position of being the passenger in a vehicle of someone who has consumed alcohol or is high. It is so important to have this conversation with our kids. If they’re in this position they need two or three numbers to contact as their back- up plan. Maybe the deal is, you pick them up a block away or your older son or daughter makes the midnight run, ensuring they are getting home safe.

There are so many challenges our kids face. You couldn’t pay me to be a teenager again. But the reality is they will be faced with one of these scenarios. It is so important to hear that they do not need to get in that car, under any circumstances. It’s also important for them to know that they have a voice and if they see someone they know who has been drinking, smoking, popping pills, etc., it is their responsibility to not let that person drive. It’s not ok to be silent. It isn’t about being confrontational, but it is about having a voice and not turning a blind eye.

This is a lot to process.  I write this not as the SAC, but as a community member. I have lost count of the many lives that I have known and loved over the years who are no longer here because someone made the choice to get behind the wheel and voices were not raised to say that it was not ok. Your voice matters and your words can touch the heart of your child

Let’s continue to let our kids know how very precious they are, as well as the dangers of distracted driving. I believe, through ongoing discussion, lives can be saved. As I drive through our community each cross I pass I think that that was somebody’s somebody. Each cross is a dad, sister, cousin or best friend. We don’t want any more crosses on our roads. I believe this battle can be won, but we must lead by example and have this topic in the forefront of our minds as we drive our kids to practice or at the dinner table.