The concept of human trafficking has until recently been an atrocity mostly associated with pockets of Asia and Africa, but it is a very real and frightening issue that has made its way to Burlington County. Turning a blind eye might make it feel as though it couldn't affect someone we know, but knowledge, in this instance, is the most effective means of protection. Human trafficking is the illegal act of moving and using individuals for either forced labor or sexual exploitation.
The average age of a human trafficking victim is 14. This involves adults preying on young people and their greatest means of luring and attracting victims is, but is not limited to, social media. Through accessing information posted on Facebook, twitter or instagram regarding the young person's high school, personal interests and friends, a wealth of information can be collected. Then, armed with this information, the young person on the other end of the screen is befriended, messaged and lured into establishing a trust that seems legitimate. There have been instances where the attractive older looking male or woman approaches a young person at the mall, at their place of work or the 'coincidental' run-ins that occur frequently. Seemingly innocently enough, the predator promises a lucrative job, fixing them up on a date with someone they've had their eye on, or even a Saturday night house party with free food and alcohol. Their main objective is to lure and secure their bait with false promises.
When these meetings occur, on average, within 24 hours the young person is drugged up so they can no longer think straight and can be forced into having sex with anyone willing to pay their pimp the required sum of money. This might seem unfathomable for our kids to be at risk in an area that seems removed from such atrocities, but it is here and is an issue that is not going away anytime soon.
So what are some ways to guard our kids?:
· removing any friends/contacts on social media sites that they do not directly know
· having their social media sites closed for public access
· discussions that a friend of a friend via social media does not justify trusting or meeting up with someone, especially if they are alone
· if someone offers them a job or opportunity that seems too good to be true, do your research ensuring it isn’t a ploy to take advantage of your child
· websites to familiarize yourself with this topic:
www.fbi.gov
www.sharedhope.org
www.polarisproject.org
Educate yourself, chat with your kids or loved ones and realize that these atrocities will be a part of our society until we become more aware, unite our efforts and no longer keep our eyes closed to an epidemic that is stealing the innocence and safety of too many of our children. Something can be done and it starts with each of us taking one step.
Friday, February 27, 2015
Wednesday, February 18, 2015
Valentine-ness
Valentine's Day has never been a holiday I've looked forward to or really found much to it outside of the pressure for purchasing chocolates, roses or twirling around like Buddy the Elf chanting, "I'm in love! I'm in love!" I've always felt, in a non jaded way, that the message conveyed is that you lack value if you don't have a significant other and if you do one would naturally expect to be laden with chocolates, flowers and uber love. So maybe that makes me sound Scrooge-like, but I feel like love and caring for others stretch way beyond what society has packaged and molded it into.
Love is beautiful, unconditional and hard work. It is something that is not earned in a one night stand. With friendship it isn't solidified in a 48 hour meet and great session. Unfortunately, we're in a culture where our food, internet service and expectations for anything and everything are immediate. It's easy to be inpatient, to want something now and for it to, unrealistically, fall under our umbrella of what love and relationships should be even if they aren't.
One of my favorite verses in the Bible defines what love is so eloquently and so against the grain of what our society and culture defines it as:
Love is not an easily packaged and cellophane wrapped basket, but it is instead an awesome ever growing, if we allow it to, component of life. It isn't intended to ever hurt or weaken the other individual, but instead find ways to bring joy and fullness to others in a non self serving manner.
There's nothing wrong with chocolates and a nice dinner on February 14th, but don't let these notions of affection be limited to a few designated holidays during the year. You deserve goodness, to be genuinely asked how your day was and to be surrounded by those (even if that's only a select few) who treat you how you desire to be treated. Life is too stinking short to invest and strive for a certain someone or type of person who will never reciprocate and treat you as you deserve to be valued.
Know that you, with all your good, bad and in-between are super worth loving and investing in. It's the truth!
Love is beautiful, unconditional and hard work. It is something that is not earned in a one night stand. With friendship it isn't solidified in a 48 hour meet and great session. Unfortunately, we're in a culture where our food, internet service and expectations for anything and everything are immediate. It's easy to be inpatient, to want something now and for it to, unrealistically, fall under our umbrella of what love and relationships should be even if they aren't.
One of my favorite verses in the Bible defines what love is so eloquently and so against the grain of what our society and culture defines it as:
1 Corinthians 13:4-7New International Version (NIV)
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love is not an easily packaged and cellophane wrapped basket, but it is instead an awesome ever growing, if we allow it to, component of life. It isn't intended to ever hurt or weaken the other individual, but instead find ways to bring joy and fullness to others in a non self serving manner.
There's nothing wrong with chocolates and a nice dinner on February 14th, but don't let these notions of affection be limited to a few designated holidays during the year. You deserve goodness, to be genuinely asked how your day was and to be surrounded by those (even if that's only a select few) who treat you how you desire to be treated. Life is too stinking short to invest and strive for a certain someone or type of person who will never reciprocate and treat you as you deserve to be valued.
Know that you, with all your good, bad and in-between are super worth loving and investing in. It's the truth!
Tuesday, January 27, 2015
Being aware in the winter
Sometimes I find myself just wanting to walk around my house in flip flops as a protest against the cold, dark days of winter. There are moments when it feels like spring will never get here and I find myself making a concerted effort to take in fresh air and catch a few fleeting rays of sun whenever the opportunity presents itself to keep myself in check.
Even in 2015, depression and anxiety can be down-played, and if an adolescent or adult suffers from either or both of these, it's important to know what to look for, as well as steps that can be taken to encourage and direct the one you love. It's really challenging to grasp what it's like to struggle with an overwhelming sense of sadness, anxiety or phobia on an ongoing basis. The words, "just snap out of it," or "why don't you try and get some fresh air" are well intended but do not cure the ongoing emotional struggle.
If you notice a shift in socializing with friends or family, lack of interest in hobbies, a significant increase or decrease in sleeping patterns, detachment from the others, inability to concentrate, unpredictable mood behaviors and/or racing thoughts, these are a few signs of someone you care about not being in a good place. There is no wave of a wand to fix those we love, but through working in unison we can begin shifting things in the right direction.
The first step is in having an informal chat about your concerns, what you are seeing and taking some time to come up with ways that they feel you might be able to support or encourage them. It might sound strange, but there's nothing wrong with asking if you can join them in watching a movie instead of them being alone, taking a trek to Wawa for a cup of coffee, or even encouraging them to invite a friend or two over.
I am a firm believer in providing the proper tools for those we care for when they need them most. Often, the first step can be found in connecting with an outside counselor. This can be a daunting task, but feel free to ask recommendations from family/ friends, your child's guidance counselor or through your insurance provider. It's challenging, as a parent, to not be frustrated with wondering why your loved one might be more inclined to speak to someone they don't know. There can be a sense of comfort in divulging concerns, fears or daily challenges with someone you are certain to not bump into in the kitchen or at Starbucks. There's a sense of anonymity when chatting with someone outside of your circle.
A counselor might recommend an evaluation if they feel it is necessary. Psychiatric evaluations can often provide a sense of relief from the unknown for both teens and adults finally validating that there is a legitimate struggle going on. It is through family/friend support, counseling and medication that the load they have been bearing can be lightened over time.
The world of mental health is vast and overwhelming, but it doesn't have to be. If you are concerned about either yourself or a loved one, reach out and ask questions to someone you are comfortable confiding in. This is not about being judged, but instead supporting and encouraging a healthier and more stable future for those we care for.
Even in 2015, depression and anxiety can be down-played, and if an adolescent or adult suffers from either or both of these, it's important to know what to look for, as well as steps that can be taken to encourage and direct the one you love. It's really challenging to grasp what it's like to struggle with an overwhelming sense of sadness, anxiety or phobia on an ongoing basis. The words, "just snap out of it," or "why don't you try and get some fresh air" are well intended but do not cure the ongoing emotional struggle.
If you notice a shift in socializing with friends or family, lack of interest in hobbies, a significant increase or decrease in sleeping patterns, detachment from the others, inability to concentrate, unpredictable mood behaviors and/or racing thoughts, these are a few signs of someone you care about not being in a good place. There is no wave of a wand to fix those we love, but through working in unison we can begin shifting things in the right direction.
I am a firm believer in providing the proper tools for those we care for when they need them most. Often, the first step can be found in connecting with an outside counselor. This can be a daunting task, but feel free to ask recommendations from family/ friends, your child's guidance counselor or through your insurance provider. It's challenging, as a parent, to not be frustrated with wondering why your loved one might be more inclined to speak to someone they don't know. There can be a sense of comfort in divulging concerns, fears or daily challenges with someone you are certain to not bump into in the kitchen or at Starbucks. There's a sense of anonymity when chatting with someone outside of your circle.
A counselor might recommend an evaluation if they feel it is necessary. Psychiatric evaluations can often provide a sense of relief from the unknown for both teens and adults finally validating that there is a legitimate struggle going on. It is through family/friend support, counseling and medication that the load they have been bearing can be lightened over time.
The world of mental health is vast and overwhelming, but it doesn't have to be. If you are concerned about either yourself or a loved one, reach out and ask questions to someone you are comfortable confiding in. This is not about being judged, but instead supporting and encouraging a healthier and more stable future for those we care for.
Thursday, January 1, 2015
New Year and new opportunities
Every year consists of 365 days. From January 1st to December
31st we are given 8,765.81 hours and how we opt to manage those
hours is up to us. When you break it down, although a year can feel as though
it is here and gone, there is so much in between those twelve months and
whether we choose to take advantage of life or allow life to take advantage of
us.
Life is a precious gift. Every year that comes to a close brings with it
joys as well as losses. I think of the many who were here in the beginning of
2014 and are no longer with us. Life is fleeting, a mist that is here and gone. I don't say this to evoke a sense of somberness, but instead the reality that each moment is fragile and not one we are entitled to. There are chapters in some of our lives that are acute in suffering or loss while other chapters may be brimming with life, joy and blessings. Life was not meant to be predictable nor were we born immortal.
Whether we are given seventeen years or seventy years how we opt to invest our time, our efforts and our heart is a choice that is ours alone. I am confident that when I have taken my last breath that my eternity will be spent in heaven due to investing my faith and heart in a God who is so good, so loving and so just that I am undeserving. But as I look around a world that is teeming with suffering, poverty and uncertainty I find comfort in not only my faith but in how my days are intended to be lived.
This world and our every day isn't meant to fulfill our own personal needs. There is hurt and sadness is so many crevices of our own community, but do we take the time to look? Do we take the opportunity to look with our hearts and not our eyes? Or are we living solely for our weekly paychecks that will enable more fluff on our cake of life? I can say with confidence that when we begin viewing the hearts and needs of others how we live life alters immensely. The ability to love, no strings attach, is what Christ was all about.
It was the summer before my junior year of college that I had the veil lifted from my eyes. I went from a kid thinking I had a pretty solid grasp of life to one who was in awe of how little I knew of the world and needs around me. It was in Minsk, Belarus that my eyes opened and my heart ached for people in a part of the world I knew little to nothing about a few months prior. There was poverty. There were obvious social signs of communisms stronghold years after the walls were torn down. Then there was the sickness of so many I encountered suffering from the after effects of Chernobyl that occurred so long ago. It was on a walk to the local park to meet a friend that it all slapped me in the face. Up until that point it was college loans, exams, finding a summer job and career choices that were my daily stressors. Here, and like so many pinpoints of the map, it was survival, overcoming financial obstacles and breaking from a past riddled in oppression. I was an idiot. It was on a park bench that I realized that then and there I was changed and would never be able, even if I wanted to, be the same.
Now, a lifetime later, I have my moments that I have to reel myself back in thwarting the distractions of the things that really just don't matter and reflect back to Minsk. It is from those moments that I realized life is too short to not love, seek out the needs of others and to live life fully in a way that each day and year can really be one of a kind. It's not always about scurrying around looking for ways to serve, but it's combining that with the ability to relish the beauty of a life we can so often let slip through our fingertips. It's coffee on the couch with your spouse. It's driving with the windows down breathing in the cool air as the sun hits your face. It's baking cookies with your kids or loved ones and staying up late watching a movie. It's looking through old pictures and allowing yourself to laugh and cry. It's sending someone a note in the mail who could really use the encouragement or knowledge that you're thinking of them. There are so many small, 'big,' opportunities we can overlook if we don't pause and make a concerted effort to really live.
So as we embark upon another 365 days and 8,765.81 hours may your 2015 be a journey that will change you from beginning to end. Happy New Year!
Whether we are given seventeen years or seventy years how we opt to invest our time, our efforts and our heart is a choice that is ours alone. I am confident that when I have taken my last breath that my eternity will be spent in heaven due to investing my faith and heart in a God who is so good, so loving and so just that I am undeserving. But as I look around a world that is teeming with suffering, poverty and uncertainty I find comfort in not only my faith but in how my days are intended to be lived.
This world and our every day isn't meant to fulfill our own personal needs. There is hurt and sadness is so many crevices of our own community, but do we take the time to look? Do we take the opportunity to look with our hearts and not our eyes? Or are we living solely for our weekly paychecks that will enable more fluff on our cake of life? I can say with confidence that when we begin viewing the hearts and needs of others how we live life alters immensely. The ability to love, no strings attach, is what Christ was all about.
It was the summer before my junior year of college that I had the veil lifted from my eyes. I went from a kid thinking I had a pretty solid grasp of life to one who was in awe of how little I knew of the world and needs around me. It was in Minsk, Belarus that my eyes opened and my heart ached for people in a part of the world I knew little to nothing about a few months prior. There was poverty. There were obvious social signs of communisms stronghold years after the walls were torn down. Then there was the sickness of so many I encountered suffering from the after effects of Chernobyl that occurred so long ago. It was on a walk to the local park to meet a friend that it all slapped me in the face. Up until that point it was college loans, exams, finding a summer job and career choices that were my daily stressors. Here, and like so many pinpoints of the map, it was survival, overcoming financial obstacles and breaking from a past riddled in oppression. I was an idiot. It was on a park bench that I realized that then and there I was changed and would never be able, even if I wanted to, be the same.
Now, a lifetime later, I have my moments that I have to reel myself back in thwarting the distractions of the things that really just don't matter and reflect back to Minsk. It is from those moments that I realized life is too short to not love, seek out the needs of others and to live life fully in a way that each day and year can really be one of a kind. It's not always about scurrying around looking for ways to serve, but it's combining that with the ability to relish the beauty of a life we can so often let slip through our fingertips. It's coffee on the couch with your spouse. It's driving with the windows down breathing in the cool air as the sun hits your face. It's baking cookies with your kids or loved ones and staying up late watching a movie. It's looking through old pictures and allowing yourself to laugh and cry. It's sending someone a note in the mail who could really use the encouragement or knowledge that you're thinking of them. There are so many small, 'big,' opportunities we can overlook if we don't pause and make a concerted effort to really live.
So as we embark upon another 365 days and 8,765.81 hours may your 2015 be a journey that will change you from beginning to end. Happy New Year!
Monday, December 22, 2014
Seneca Elves of 2014
So often we really have no concept of what those around us at school, work or even within our own community are facing on a daily basis. It may be challenging to hone in on the needs of our own community without being distracted by what we may deem as more pressing needs in other parts of the country or around the globe. This isn't me comparing or contrasting, but it can be easy to overlook what challenges and hurts those in our own backyards are facing.
This time of year is usually high volume for students facing personal struggles and where the holiday season can evoke a sadness or stress due to personal loss or family challenges. December can be a hard month for many. What I love about my job is working amongst so many kindred hearts who desire nothing more than to provide a sense of joy and blessings to those who may be facing some challenges.
We collaborate and make crazy awesome things happen. It is amazing to watch the magic happen. From the boxes of food that will provide Christmas dinner to providing a little bit of 'goodness' to a ton of students it's seriously my version of Disney World.
What better way to start the Christmas Season than giving unto others and finding the most creative of ways to bring a smile to someone else's face? It is a blessing to be a part of a school and community that digs deep, looks at hearts instead of the external and is truly making Christmas wishes come true.
So as Christmas draws closer my hope is that we take the opportunities that may arise between now and then to continue spreading hope, joy and taking the time to rock the worlds of those who could use some serious Christmas Cheer. Bring on the Christmas Challenge!
This time of year is usually high volume for students facing personal struggles and where the holiday season can evoke a sadness or stress due to personal loss or family challenges. December can be a hard month for many. What I love about my job is working amongst so many kindred hearts who desire nothing more than to provide a sense of joy and blessings to those who may be facing some challenges.
We collaborate and make crazy awesome things happen. It is amazing to watch the magic happen. From the boxes of food that will provide Christmas dinner to providing a little bit of 'goodness' to a ton of students it's seriously my version of Disney World.
What better way to start the Christmas Season than giving unto others and finding the most creative of ways to bring a smile to someone else's face? It is a blessing to be a part of a school and community that digs deep, looks at hearts instead of the external and is truly making Christmas wishes come true.
So as Christmas draws closer my hope is that we take the opportunities that may arise between now and then to continue spreading hope, joy and taking the time to rock the worlds of those who could use some serious Christmas Cheer. Bring on the Christmas Challenge!
Sunday, December 14, 2014
Tis' the Season
"It's the most wonderful time of the year." It's a Christmas Song that many of us could easily ramble off a few stanzas from. Christmas, Hanukkah and the overall holiday season can quite often be a magical time for many young and old. From the smell of fresh baked cookies in the oven, lights lining our neighborhood houses and time to reunite with family and friends there is a a lot of goodness packaged into a few short weeks of the year.
As we embark upon another few weeks in December that will be teeming with all the holiday trimmings it seems so very important to make a concerted effort to those who may be struggling to find joy in the tinsel, carols and cookies. In the past few weeks I have been in awe of the students at Seneca High School who, through facing the loss of one of their peers along with two younger siblings, chose to find means to encourage, remember and find unity through one another. It is amazing what powerful messages our own kids can teach us in trying times.
So what is it that we can do as a community and in our own homes? In the past eleven years I've had some in depth dialogue with students who may have suffered losses, face financial challenges, have family struggles and the list goes on. When I inquire about the holidays some roll their eyes others may shrug their shoulders and there are those who find mid-November to the end of the year as more of a positive distraction from reality. What so many of these young people have shared is that bringing joy to others at this time of year doesn't equate to taking out your wallet, rather it's getting creative with your heart.
When we face challenges, there can be an underlying sense of comfort or even joy when we don't feel like we're in it alone. It's meeting an old friend for coffee, taking a two hour break from the craziness of the world to watch an old movie with family members, baking cookies for the widow down the street, dropping a card in the mail to a friend who might be facing hard times or adding a place at the table for dinner for a young person or adult who may have no one else to share dinner with. The message of the holidays comes in many forms and it's fantastic to take a step back from the gifts, the to do list and all the other harried aspects of late December and allow the purity and richness of the last days of 2014 to be truly amazing.
Because the truth is each of us can make an impact on the hearts of others in the subtlest of ways that not only brings joy to those around us, but brings a deeper grasp on what this time of year is really about.
As we embark upon another few weeks in December that will be teeming with all the holiday trimmings it seems so very important to make a concerted effort to those who may be struggling to find joy in the tinsel, carols and cookies. In the past few weeks I have been in awe of the students at Seneca High School who, through facing the loss of one of their peers along with two younger siblings, chose to find means to encourage, remember and find unity through one another. It is amazing what powerful messages our own kids can teach us in trying times.
So what is it that we can do as a community and in our own homes? In the past eleven years I've had some in depth dialogue with students who may have suffered losses, face financial challenges, have family struggles and the list goes on. When I inquire about the holidays some roll their eyes others may shrug their shoulders and there are those who find mid-November to the end of the year as more of a positive distraction from reality. What so many of these young people have shared is that bringing joy to others at this time of year doesn't equate to taking out your wallet, rather it's getting creative with your heart.
(Tristan and Dean organizing & bagging clothes @ Holy Eucharist's clothing pantry)
When we face challenges, there can be an underlying sense of comfort or even joy when we don't feel like we're in it alone. It's meeting an old friend for coffee, taking a two hour break from the craziness of the world to watch an old movie with family members, baking cookies for the widow down the street, dropping a card in the mail to a friend who might be facing hard times or adding a place at the table for dinner for a young person or adult who may have no one else to share dinner with. The message of the holidays comes in many forms and it's fantastic to take a step back from the gifts, the to do list and all the other harried aspects of late December and allow the purity and richness of the last days of 2014 to be truly amazing.
(Your local food pantries are in dire need of your support both with food and volunteering your time)
Because the truth is each of us can make an impact on the hearts of others in the subtlest of ways that not only brings joy to those around us, but brings a deeper grasp on what this time of year is really about.
(Seneca students handing out bagged lunches & clothing in Philly)
Monday, November 17, 2014
Eighty Four hours
In eighty- four hours you can accomplish a lot if you really want to. This year marked the tenth year of my annual Drug Squad Retreat. Now, after ten years of eighty-four hour weekends I can tell you I am a better person for it. Sleep and down time are at a minimum, but it's eighty- four hours that I look forward to every year. I have the privilege of watching 30 young people come together, learn to trust, open up about personal challenges and gain insight as how they are living their life. Every year I am in awe of what some of these kids have been through and how they have made the personal decision to live in a way that their words and actions are making a difference. For a sixteen or eighteen year old to have this as a desire is pretty amazing. It definitely goes against the grain of what society says we should be doing.
Every year students who really don't know one another too well spend eighty four hours learning that to look at other's hearts, not their physical appearance and that each and every person has their own story, experiences and journey. It's not up to us to judge, but learn. In ten years every eighty four hour weekend leaves me speaking slower, listening more intently and taking in every moment with some exceptional young people.
My hope is that the friendships forged and lessons learned will strengthen these young men and women choosing to step away from the superficial and gravitate towards substance and a life that is about health, compassion and a driven heart. Life is too short not to make a difference.
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