Chewy didn't roll solo

Goose had Maverick and Han Solo had Chewbaka. Both of these guys had a wingman through the course of their journeys that endured both good and bad. As a new school year and college term has kicked off my hope is that every young person has their own Chewy or Goose. Whether in the hallways or on the weekends every one of our kids will be faced with decisions, moral dilemmas and peer pressures that can often be uncomfortable and sometimes has the potential to be life altering. It’s that person who not only has your back, but will call you out on poor decision making or will stand up for you when you are in over your head. Often times it takes a handful of experiences involving hurt, broken promises or even betrayal before the selection process becomes more refined. It isn’t an easy thing.

     After completing grad school I spent six months working in New Zealand and a few weeks travelling throughout Australia and Fiji. While in Fiji I island hopped in pursuit of good surf and diving. I met some locals who owned a dive shop on the main land and they invited me to do a trek with them free of charge. I was a very green diver, only receiving my cert a month or so prior in Australia , with only a handful of dives under my belt. When you dive you always are encouraged to have a buddy, or a wingman. My wingman, Raj, assured me I was in good hands and that we were going to check out an unbelievable wreck that sunk a few hundred years back.  I wasn’t certified to dive wrecks yet, but I caved in, put on my gear and eagerly accompanied my wingman in to the deep blue.

     As we descended I kept my eyes fixed on Raj who would turn around every ten I feet or so and give me a bob of the head with a thumbs up. I slowly followed him through the first passageway into the ship and as we entered visibility quickly decreased and my wingman was out of sight. There would be different doorways to go through and it was unclear as to which way they turned making it a very real possibility of getting lost in the belly of the ship. I knew the guys were probably only a few feet ahead, but I opted to make my way back to the surface.. But as I hastily exited the knob on my air tank became pinned in between the rusty shards of the door’s frame. I couldn’t move forward or backwards and for a second I was pretty sure I was done for. The only option remaining was removing weight belt and physically holding my air tank as I maneuvered by body where I was facing my tank. I jostled it and after a few jiggles the knob was free and I was able to strap my gear back on and resurface.

      My wingman did not have my back. I remember thinking on the boat ride back to land at how differently my outcome could have been and that my ability to trust someone I knew nothing about was foolish on my part. Every day adults and young people are faced with decisions that range from whether or not to say something if you’re in the car and the driver is texting, to speak up when we hear someone being bullied, to posting inappropriate comments or pictures on social media and the list goes on. Sometimes we have our guard down, don’t think straight or are just simply being a butt head. It’s times such as these that we need to be held accountable, called out and need a wing man.

     Sometimes it can be easy to get caught up in finding someone whose convenient or more fun than reliable and honest. My hope is that as our kids and loved ones begin another year the focus won’t be on how many friends are in their circle, but how good the ones they have are. Even having one solid Goose or Chewy goes a whole lot further than a dozen fair weathered peeps. May the force be with you.