Judge Free Zone

     Not judging a book by its cover is so much easier coined than lived out. It’s human nature to judge, evaluate and allowing our eyes to delve beyond the surface can be trying. But how very cool would it be that instead of soaking in a person’s clothing labels it was their heart you encountered first? I’m thinking that could backfire for some for sure. Have you been guilty of jumping the gun where your attitude and approach to a person may be softened or hardened depending on what they were or weren’t wearing, the piercings or tattoos on their bodies or how they spoke? If you haven’t, well you have…hate to break it to you.

     But the truth is what we find as aesthetically appealing to the eye on the surface, and we all have different definitions of that, can sometimes be very contrasting to what lies beneath. Some of my most in depth and thought provoking conversations have stemmed from the kid in my office who just looks exceptionally rough around the edges to the traveler I’ve shared dinner with that most would pass by on the street without a word or a glance. But we’ve all been guilty of assuming we know what an individual is about based upon appearance.  We discriminate without even realizing it and with that we hastily go about our day without realizing we missed out on something pretty awesome.

    When it’s you being discriminated against it can not only sting, but feel pretty crappy. I made an attempt to trek to the Czech Republic via train hopping from Austria with a few hour lay over in Munich, Germany. My frolicking in Munich got the better of me and I ended up missing my 2 am train leaving me with my pack, only a few Deutsch marks (pre-Euro) , utterly exhausted and totally alone. I opted to migrate to the waiting area where other backpackers and a handful of homeless resided to catch a few hours of sleep before deciding where I would head next. I was exhausted. I used my belt to tie myself to my pack that left no opportunity for it being lifted without them taking me with it. Good luck with that. My hair was pulled back, my jeans were visibly worn and my sweater had seen better days, but I had planned on throwing my things in the wash at my next destination. It was not quite 8 am when I was poked in the side by someone uttering incomprehensible words in German. All I wanted to do was sleep just a little longer. Words were exchanged again and just as I opened my eyes a sharp pain shot across my rib cage and my eyes filled with tears as I bit my lip to refrain from screaming. A billy club was my morning wake up call by the local police whose task was to remove the ruffians from the terminal before the rush of travelers set in. At that moment I had never felt such a sickening combination of pain, shame and anger that simmered with me long after I left Munich. My wake up was based on where I was, how I looked and how I was perceived as being a public annoyance lumped in with the homeless and other riff raft.

      It’s funny how little we really know about those we can sometimes be surrounded   by everyday who have a certain look that works for or against them impacting how we engage in conversation and approach them. Maybe they’re struggling with ptsd, their marriage is falling apart, bills are piling up and they feel like they’re drowning Or just simply they’re layered with life experiences that have the ability to enrich your life? There is always so much more than what lies on the surface.

    It’s kind of a cool challenge to allow your eyes to focus less on the wardrobe and exterior and more on the heart and character. It takes time and patience, but the reward outweighs the effort. It’s a great way to sift through the buttheads and find some gems that would have otherwise been overlooked.