Wrinkles and lines

 Last week my grandmother celebrated her 95th birthday. It was also the first time she met my son, Jack, who was named after her late husband and my grandfather. As she sat rocking little Jack, cradled in her arms, she sang "Hello Dolly" and about half way through I noticed how she struggled to hold back tears. As I stood back watching my little boy being held by my last living grandparent it was a pretty poignant moment. I knew that my grandma was overwhelmed with emotion holding the little boy named after her husband and how Jack represented the season of life and birth as she comes closer to the end of her own life. My little one entered a world my grandmother struggles to keep up with while she possesses a history, so very rich, he will never fully be able to grasp it.

We live in a society that glamorizes youth and suffers greatly from ageism. Wrinkles and sagging body parts are frowned upon and there is a fear of age equating to decreased significance. The pressure to pursue an everlasting youthful look is off the charts. With focus geared upon youth and a fast paced everything there's a trend of discounting the weight in knowledge and wisdom of the elderly. They move slow. They drive slow. Forget about trying to explain tweeting or tagging someone. When they were born there was no internet, cell phones and, for some, no television. Our elderly are living, breathing history lessons and so often we are so busy being busy we don't take the time to ask questions, listen and learn. I'm just as guilty as the next person of already thinking about the next 'have to do' instead of allowing myself to live in the moment. 

My grandma was born in the roaring 20s, survived the depression, the heart ache of World War II and a time where being Jewish came with consequence. What she has lived through is mind boggling it's hard to wrap my head round it. I believe every human possesses their own chapters in life and so often we are so caught up in the now we don't take the time to gain insight into the pages of those closest to us. Her wrinkles and lines around her face represent the timeline of the life she has lived. Sitting on the front porch last week I learned a little more about my grandma just because I simply asked a few questions. With a cup of coffee, a rocking chair and her youngest great grandchild on her lap time froze and I learned about her, her parents and our family history. It's a wealth of information that can't be acquired in any other way than taking the time to ask because there will be a time when the opportunity will no longer be there. 

So as my little dude is four months old next week I'm learning more as a mom and attempting to look at life through his eyes than I have in my previous 37 years of life. Every day is a gift and the beauty of life becomes all the richer when we allow ourselves to learn more about those who (whether we like it or not) are connected to us, our history and generations of family that won't be here forever. There will be a day where the rocking chair will be empty and there will be no more opportunities for questions or coffee. Don't let time and opportunity to slip through your fingertips. I would give anything to have an hour to chat with my Grandpa Jack or my Dad's mom. They've both been gone for over 30 years now and there's so much I would have loved to ask given the opportunity. 

But the truth is we can cling to the 'should have' or 'would have' mentality or we can realize the fragility of life and begin to take a little more time to respect the wrinkles, gain curiosity when observing the many lines on a face and grab a rocking chair.