Being aware in the winter

   Sometimes I find myself just wanting to walk around my house in flip flops as a protest against the cold, dark days of winter. There are moments when it feels like spring will never get here and I find myself making  a concerted effort to take in fresh air and catch a few fleeting rays of sun whenever the opportunity presents itself to keep myself in check.

     Even in 2015, depression and anxiety can be down-played, and if an adolescent or adult suffers from either or both of these, it's important to know what to look for, as well as steps that can be taken to encourage and direct the one you love. It's really challenging to grasp what it's like to struggle with an overwhelming sense of sadness, anxiety or phobia on an ongoing basis. The words, "just snap out of it," or "why don't you try and get some fresh air" are well intended but do not cure the ongoing emotional struggle. 

     If you notice a shift in socializing with friends or family, lack of interest in hobbies, a significant increase or decrease in sleeping patterns, detachment from the others, inability to concentrate, unpredictable mood behaviors and/or racing thoughts, these are a few signs of someone you care about not being in a good place. There is no wave of a wand to fix those we love, but through working in unison we can begin shifting things in the right direction.

     The first step is in having an informal chat about your concerns, what you are seeing and taking some time to come up with ways that they feel you might be able to support or encourage them. It might sound strange, but there's nothing wrong with asking if you can join them in watching a movie instead of them being alone,  taking a trek to Wawa for a cup of coffee, or even encouraging them to invite a friend or two over.

     I am a firm believer in providing the proper tools for those we care for when they need them most. Often, the first step can be found in connecting with an outside counselor. This can be a daunting task, but feel free to ask recommendations from family/ friends, your child's guidance counselor or through your insurance provider. It's challenging, as a parent, to not be frustrated with wondering why your loved one might be more inclined to speak to someone they don't know. There can be a sense of comfort in divulging concerns, fears or daily challenges with someone you are certain to not bump into in the kitchen or at Starbucks. There's a sense of anonymity when chatting with someone outside of your circle. 

     A counselor might recommend an evaluation if they feel it is necessary. Psychiatric evaluations can often provide a sense of relief from the unknown for both teens and adults finally validating that there is a legitimate struggle going on. It is through family/friend support, counseling and medication that the load they have been bearing can be lightened over time. 

     The world of mental health is vast and overwhelming, but it doesn't have to be. If you are concerned about either yourself or a loved one, reach out and ask questions to someone you are comfortable confiding in. This is not about being judged, but instead supporting and encouraging a healthier and more stable future for those we care for.

New Year and new opportunities

     Every year consists of 365 days. From January 1^st to December 31^st we are given 8,765.81 hours and how we opt to manage those hours is up to us. When you break it down, although a year can feel as though it is here and gone, there is so much in between those twelve months and whether we choose to take advantage of life or allow life to take advantage of us.

     Life is a precious gift. Every year that comes to a close brings with it joys as well as losses. I think of the many who were here in the beginning of 2014 and are no longer with us. Life is fleeting, a mist that is here and gone. I don't say this to evoke a sense of somberness, but instead the reality that each moment is fragile and not one we are entitled to. There are chapters in some of our lives that are acute in suffering or loss while other chapters may be brimming with life, joy and blessings. Life was not meant to be predictable nor were we born immortal.







     Whether we are given seventeen years or seventy years how we opt to invest our time, our efforts and our heart is a choice that is ours alone. I am confident that when I have taken my last breath that my eternity will be spent in heaven due to investing my faith and heart in a God who is so good, so loving and so just that I am undeserving. But as I look around a world that is teeming with suffering, poverty and uncertainty I find comfort in not only my faith but in how my days are intended to be lived.

     This world and our every day isn't meant to fulfill our own personal needs. There is hurt and sadness is so many crevices of our own community, but do we take the time to look? Do we take the opportunity to look with our hearts and not our eyes? Or are we living solely for our weekly paychecks that will enable more fluff on our cake of life? I can say with confidence that when we begin viewing the hearts and needs of others how we live life alters immensely. The ability to love, no strings attach, is what Christ was all about.

     It was the summer before my junior year of college that I had the veil lifted from my eyes. I went from a kid thinking I had a pretty solid grasp of life to one who was in awe of how little I knew of the world and needs around me. It was in Minsk, Belarus that my eyes opened and my heart ached for people in a part of the world I knew little to nothing about a few months prior. There was poverty. There were obvious social signs of communisms stronghold years after the walls were torn down. Then there was the sickness of so many I encountered suffering from the after effects of Chernobyl that occurred so long ago. It was on a walk to the local park to meet a friend that it all slapped me in the face. Up until that point it was college loans, exams, finding a summer job and career choices that were my daily stressors. Here, and like so many pinpoints of the map, it was survival, overcoming financial obstacles and breaking from a past riddled in oppression. I was an idiot. It was on a park bench that I realized that then and there I was changed and would never be able, even if I wanted to, be the same.

     Now, a lifetime later, I have my moments that I have to reel myself back in thwarting the distractions of the things that really just don't matter and reflect back to Minsk. It is from those moments that I realized life is too short to not love, seek out the needs of others and to live life fully in a way that each day and year can really be one of a kind. It's not always about scurrying around looking for ways to serve, but it's combining that with the ability to relish the beauty of a life we can so often let slip through our fingertips. It's coffee on the couch with your spouse. It's driving with the windows down breathing in the cool air as the sun hits your face. It's baking cookies with your kids or loved ones and staying up late watching a movie. It's looking through old pictures and allowing yourself to laugh and cry. It's sending someone a note in the mail who could really use the encouragement or knowledge that you're thinking of them. There are so many small, 'big,' opportunities we can overlook if we don't pause and make a concerted effort to really live.

   So as we embark upon another 365 days and 8,765.81 hours may your 2015 be a journey that will change you from beginning to end. Happy New Year!