A man of a thousand laughs

It took me off guard as I felt an overwhelming sense of sadness and loss for someone I had only met on my television or the big screen in the movie theater. But there's a real sense of sadness that accompanies the tragic death of Robin Williams who, in the end, claimed his own life.

Prior to entering the mental health field I had a loose grip on the concept of depression and now close to 15 years later I find it difficult to know someone who doesn't have a someone suffering from this illness. The truth is, if we take the time to stop and pause, there is a friend, family member, co-worker or classmate who is struggling with depression. Even in 2014 I have overheard responses such as, "just snap out of it" or "just try to be happy," and a million other ill fitting responses to a sickness that is very real and one that, if deemed necessary, medication can provide one facet of assistance with.



We are a society wired to receive and expect everything instantaneously. When it comes to the world of depression it is far from having an automatic fix or cure. Every type of treatment is dependent upon the individual and one that might truly be life long. It can feel like an uphill battle with cliffs below and road blocks ahead, but it is one that requires the support and encouragement of others.

Counseling, prayer, medication and support of loved ones can help. But even as I sit here and reflect on Mr. Williams and the people that I have known in my life who have suffered from depression and ended their own lives it is an illness that breaks my heart and one that I try very hard to understand.

Robin Williams filled the screen with his humor, charm and gifts for many years. He was a man who made millions laugh, but one, behind closed doors, there was a hurt and sadness that his fans never detected. That's the funny thing about depression, it's something that can be hidden with a smile or a laugh and one that can often leave loved ones in the dark. In other instances, it can be detected with changes such as a notable sadness, withdrawn from friends, increase in sleeping and shift in interests.

My hope is that Robin's death will not be in vain and this will promote discussion around the dinner table, at the work place and amongst friends to know what to look for and that if help is needed that there are many resources available. Life is so very fragile and how wonderful would it be to steer a friend or loved one in the direction of taking that first step to talk with someone, reach out and know that they are not alone.

Give Kids the World

The world is a crazy place. Flip on the tv or pick up a newspaper and we're inundated with murders, rapes, burglaries, wars and a host of other daily predictable clips. Finding solace from reality takes effort and creativity, but sometimes it's what each of us needs.
Give Kids the World Village resides in Kissimmee, Florida. Maybe you've heard of it. After spending five days here I believe this place is as sacred and precious as ground can get. Founded by a man who lost his family during the holocaust, Henri Landwirth is seriously the type of dude whose face should be on cereal boxes and trading cards for our kids to emulate. He managed to funnel his loss and heartache into hope, happiness and dream granting.

Mr. Landwirth created the Village as a gift for families who have children facing illnesses to enjoy a week away from reality and enter his world brimming with smiles, hope and a kind of genuine love that makes the hair stand up on your arm. Close to 200 villas have been built for families to stay and call home for a week. There are rides, putt putt, swimming and daily trips to the surrounding theme parks. What I found impressive was that all the food, supplies, etc. are donated by numerous businesses and not one of them receive advertising or slaps on the back. GKTW was founded on humility, selflessness and they continue that even with sponsors. That's what giving is supposed to be.

As we spent the day serving waffles, playing air hockey with kids or being a train conductor around the tracks every minute was a gift. I can say, without hesitation, this place was surreal. Every single person you passed greater you with a smile. Each volunteer you worked with had a smile with a story of what lead them to give of their time at this place. Spending time with families and speaking with parents who were facing or had faced illnesses with their children and not one complained. Each spoke of their journey, their struggles and the joy at having an opportunity to share this time with their children. I found myself holding back tears in awe of their strength, their faith and the sheer awesomeness of who they were as people.
Our last night was spent working at the Castle where each child who visits is given a star. That star is fixed upon the castle walls where it symbolizes hope and the wish that the child made when dropping it into the sealed box of stars allocated for them alone. Walking through the castle there are thousands of tiny shimmering gold stars that each represent a story, a child and hope. It's an amazing place. 

We escaped reality for a short time, but the time away was beyond my wildest dreams. I may be back in Jersey, but a part of GKTW will always be with me. It's my hope that others will have an opportunity to escape reality, hop on a plane and douse themselves with a level of awesomeness that will leave them wanting more. If you're interested in volunteering check them out: www.gktw.org
I promise you that once you go, you're going to want to go back!

Peace, Love and Lead

Our kids are up against a whole lot these days and sometimes it can seem overwhelming. The class of 2018 will be setting foot in high school hallways in early September. I'm living in the moment and not thinking of summer being a thing of the past, but it will be here before we know it. These kids have a million different emotions swirling around about what to expect, how to react and the daunting concept of walking the hallways upperclassmen. We've all been there. 

Last week I wrapped up my first 'Peace, Love and Leadership Camp' designed specifically for incoming freshmen. We chatted, had plenty of activities and made the overwhelming concept of what lie ahead for them a lot less frightening. It was awesome watching the camp counselors, incoming seniors, chat with these guys about preparing themselves and having a plan before they even set foot in high school. What are your expectations for friendships? What sports/activities/clubs will you get involved in? What if a friend or you are in a bad situation? Who do you talk to? What are you going to do to become a better person and better the culture of your school and community? 

It was awesome watching campers place the pieces together of what ingredients can be placed together to make high school a great experience. The week transitioned from chat to actions where they worked in the school thrift shop gaining a grasp of who we serve and how far the money raised goes to help their peers. Starting at your doorstep goes pretty far.
The kids then met up at an area church to organize and prep their food pantry and clothing bank. With over 100 families served a month there is tremendous need for food, clothing and volunteers. I get a kick out of seeing eyes open and hearts get excited at the fact that their actions made a difference. In just a few hours their efforts helped feeding people in their community. Bam!

I love it! Kids can make a difference and there is no age limit. My nephew, Tristan, was right in the mix stacking cans, folding clothes and gaining life lessons that will alter his heart. It's amazing stuff!
So as our week came to a close there was no better way to get these guys totally stoked than a little color throwing throwing out the message that we all can choose to color our community and school with vibrant messages of giving, loving and serving or we can refrain stifling our growth and disallowing others to receive what they so sorely need.
From our first camp it was pretty clear that the class of 2018 is definitely starting on the right track. Super stoked!

Honduras

Without hesitation I would say that some of my greatest life lessons have been experienced abroad. We live in a great, blessed land of opportunity. Just recently my family and I spent some time in Honduras on the island of Roatan. I'm not sure what the average person conjures up when thinking of Honduras, but I didn't have a whole lot of knowledge of the country before we booked the trip. What I learned prior to and visiting is that the country laden with lush rainforest and picturesque beaches also faces tremendous poverty. The average worker earns an average of $15 a day.
We spent some time at an area orphanage as kids ran around on scooters, kicked around soccer balls and gained insight as to how many orphanages were on the island along with the stark reality that there is little room for opportunity or breaking out of the cycle of poverty.

From Honduras, Nicaragua, Egypt, Haiti, Fiji, Belarus and the Dominican the one constant factor was that those with the least seemed the most content. I am grateful for the comforts of home and every day living. From my lap top, iPhone, wifi, having a vehicle, running water and an air-conditioned home these are all things that make life a little more pleasurable. But sometimes there is that voice in the back of my head of just having too much stuff that has a way of interfering in the quality of life.

There is too much clutter that detracts from the beauty of the twenty -four hours of the day. Finding contentment isn't so easy sometimes. We live in a world with great beauty, but there is also so much heart ache and heaviness. I believe our days and years are so much fuller when we take the opportunity to enjoy the blessings around us. Stuff cannot bring joy. We might try with all our might, but it doesn't. 

Being content, fulfilled is a beautiful thing. It has been through my faith and relationship with God that has altered my perception of what is and what isn't important in this world. If the people of Honduras can be content with so little and so many Americans are discontent with so much there's something very wrong in how we are doing things.
My hope is that we use these faces and hearts to challenge ourselves and look on a heart level not a monetary level. Life lessons that resonate far and deep if we allow them. 

New Chapters Await

I so often hear both adults and teens refer to high school as the best four years of their lives. All I can do is remain silent and think how very depressing that would be if that were the case. Being that I've been out of high school for quite some time, that would be an awful reality if it were true. But where did that perception come from? Whether it be listening to too many loops of John Mellencamp or spending too much time on the Jersey Shore it's a mentality that is highly incorrect if you are living your life properly. 

My belief is that every stage of life is it's own chapter waiting to be written. So much of how we look at our next chapter has a bearing on its substance. I do note that there are things we face we have no control of: unemployment, sickness, loss of a loved one, etc. But factors outside of that are up to us. I get super disheartened when I bump into people who have been out of high school for ten, fifteen, twenty years and all they can do is chat about what was and not what is. My heart is sad for them. 

To all the graduates of 2014 I say, take life by storm. There will be bumps in the road, because if there aren't you're doing something wrong. Life is about growth, personal challenge and stretching yourself in ways that make you a better person. Do not settle for what is expected. Rather, make a bucket list of what you wish to accomplish in one, two and five years. Write it down and each day make it a point to get a little closer to those goals. It's up to you to go to your goals, your goals will not wait for you. 

So with summer's arrival don't let it be a blur. Do a few things that add to the you. Yes, I did say that.
A few pointers for rocking out the summer of 2014: Go on a road trip and let yourself get a little lost and don't use a gps; actually ask someone for directions. Drink every kind of slurpee at 7-11 before the end of July. Watch a sunrise and a sunset in two different places you've never been before (that could be Chatsworth or Collingswood). Catch fireflies. Swim in a lake under a full moon. Put your phone down and have coffee or iced tea with someone who means the world to you. Pick blueberries or strawberries and eat more than you pick. Sit under a canopy of stars. Buy someone in uniform a cup of coffee or bagel when your at Dunkin Donuts or Wawa. Send someone a note, by mail, telling them how you appreciate them. Go to a park and swing on a swing and try to reach the sky. 

Life is too short to not do something with it. Make whatever stage you are in life your own chapter that you just don't want to put down. When we live fully it's pretty cool how satisfied we become with taking the next step into the new chapter that will hold all new memories and experiences that are all our own. 

N-Bomb

Trends come and go when it comes to illegal substances that teens are using. Even though I work on the forefront of the addiction field, it can be challenging to keep up with what is and isn’t in. Regardless, I believe that there is power in knowing what’s out there and whether that is as a family member, friend or community member we do need to know.

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  Image courtesy of Google

  
  

N-bomb is a drug that has not, to my knowledge, made an appearance in South Jersey but it is only a matter of time until it does. What is it? It’s a hallucinogen that is an insane combination of MDMA (form of ecstasy that’s a cross over with Molly) and LSD that can be packaged as a nasal spry, liquid or powder. A problem is that it is frequently being mislabeled and sold as LSD, but the effects are much more dangerous. So a strategy for dealers is to mislabel a drug with the intention of getting their buyers hooked and returning for an item with a higher price tag, although more lethal.

Effects can last hours or days depending upon the potency and quantity of the dosage. But there have been numerous overdoses in New York where only a small amount was ingested. It’s scary stuff. Some of the side effects: seizures, heart attack, lapses in breathing, paranoia and death.

Why are people using it? The potency of the drug heightens senses with bright lights, colors as well as distorting visual images. The trips are referenced as being similar to LSD, just heightened, but due to the crazy mix of ingredients it’s a game of Russian roulette. You just don’t know what you’re getting.

I hope I’m wrong, but I believe within the next few months we will see this drug being referenced in our local papers.

Lots of stuff out there, but knowledge is power. Wishing you a great! 

wave in wave out

My arms are sore. Saturday brought my first opportunity to paddle out and catch some much needed spring surf. With the water temps breaking the 60 degree mark, sun out in full force and blue skies there was not much of a decision to make about rolling out of bed when the alarm went off at 5:30 am. It was the best drive through the Pine Barrens that I've had in some time.
I had not been out in a full wet suit paddling for hours at a clip in a while. Surfing is 90% paddling and 10% of actual riding a wave. It works muscles that you never knew existed that are different then what one uses in swimming or with free weights. Your body will ache after a constant range of motion that you're not accustomed to.
About a half hour out in the water I paddled past the breakers and waited before the next set of waves came in. It dawned on me how greatly my philosophy and approach with surfing has changed much as it has in my approach in life. When I was 21 I would have charged out paddling, surfing, paddling, surfing with little thought about how my limbs and legs would be feeling after the fact. A number of years ago I subjected my body to an eight hour surf session in Florida after not having been in the water in over two months. My muscles were not accustomed to the level of activity and I pushed them and the next morning they pushed back. I couldn't move my arms for close to six hours. They hurt and my body seemed to pulsate for a day or so. I was wrecked. Now, my approach is a little more thought out. Maybe we call that aging or simply common sense, but although my arms are presently sore on Sunday night they are not what they would have been if not for taking my surf session in stride. It's a good sore.

But the truth of the matter in both surfing and most importantly in life if we don't pace ourselves, take time to breath, pause and consider ways in approaching various situations or 'swells' that we may or may not face there is a lessened degree of soreness or wearing out by life. We all get tired, but sometimes the acuteness of it is simply due to our lack of planning and considering a long range vision of what lies ahead and what we are capable of handling.
We were never meant to paddle out into each set of waves in our lives without looking out at the horizon to see what exactly is coming at us next. It's hard to change speeds, learn how important it is to choose what waves or challenges to take and which to let go of as well as being at peace with sometimes just simply waiting allowing our bodies to recharge. I'm still a work in progress, but it's so worth being a good sore in life and not a sore that is detrimental to the next set of waves ahead of us. Enjoy your week and be a good sore in the waves you face ahead of you.